Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak
By: Leila Miller
In the book Primal Loss, seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents’ divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that “children are resilient” and “children are happy when their parents are happy”? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing?
Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors–women and men, young and old, single and married–have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents’ divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child’s family impacts the human heart in universal ways.
About the Author:
Leila Miller is the author of Raising Chaste Catholic Men: Practical Advice, Mom to Mom, as well as an upcoming book with Trent Horn (Catholic Answers) offering practical advice on how to talk to children about the tough moral issues. She wrote the blog Little Catholic Bubble for many years, and is a contributor to Catholic Answers Magazine Online. Leila and her husband have eight children and several grandchildren. She and her family live in Phoenix.
Primal Loss records for us the actual pain of those most wounded by divorce–children. This makes it countercultural in the best of ways. Some suffering today is not allowed to be called suffering. It is not politically correct to say that children suffer greatly from the divorce of their parents. This book needed to be written, and it needs to be read. It will help children of divorce know that they are not wrong in feeling this awful loss, which, once named and brought to Christ and His Cross, can find healing and even be redemptive. It will help all who bear wounds caused by broken marriages, including divorcées themselves, not only to see in truth what has happened, but also to seek the One whose mercy is greater than our sins and whose Cross is our only hope. — Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, Diocese of Phoenix